Have you been challenged by the badpoets?

If you’re reading this, you’ve more than likely just been challenged by the badpoets. Congratulations – we don’t hand out these invites lightly! If you came here this way, here’s the reason. We love your work and we need your voice for our project. Let us explain.

We are a group of British/English language speaking poets who are taking on the task of translating the poems below into our own dialects. So far we have poets from Glasgow, The Borders, Newcastle, Yorkshire, Hull,  London, Liverpool, Wigan, Cardiff and Suffolk on our  creative team and are always on the lookout for new English-speaking writers who use dialects and accents in their work to join in our nationwide experiment to send a poem around the world and watch how it changes as it goes – and what it says about us as people. Although we are Primarily focussed on British dialects, we more than welcome contributions from English-speaking poets from all over the world.

We have set you three main challenges, and are adding more as the list of contributors increases. To read them, please scroll down. To listen to them please see the YouTube links above.

To take part, please email your translation of  one of the challenges below to badpoets@mail.com. To qualify as an official badpoet all you need to do is complete all three challenges, or join our Facebook group to work on new material. If your work screams at us, we’ll just invite you to join anyway, not the strictest bunch of folk but we know good poetry when we see it and are thrilled with the standard of what we’ve received so far. Heartfelt thanks to all contributing poets.

The poem you write here will remain your copyright and we will not use it any way other than on this website without express permission from you in advance. To find out more about us, have a say in how we operate and see what other poems are in formulation please join our Facebook group.

Please note – the dialect you write in needs to be your own to preserve the authenticity of the project!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Poetry Translation Challenge 4. “He said, She said”.

doakter jis geediz a row
seyz am still smoakin too much
well ah seyztayim
ah seyz
ahv already cut doon tae twinty a day
in he seyz
ahm afraid thahts no good enuff
so ah teltim
ah seyz
aye well youre no pine fur thim ur ye
youre no the wan hivvinty spend haff yer dole money oan fags
when its your money thits gittin spent
then ye can telliz whit taedae

well
that shutimup

 

(Thomas Clark, Glasgow)

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Translation challenge 3 – “What Dire Offence” – Add your translation to comments bar!

soshi saiztaemi
pyoor greetin like
gihtoot
jis gihtoot
ahv hid enuff
ah cannae taykit ennymair
innalooksiter
innasaiz
well thi door swings baith weys dint it
innoota walks
jis like thaht

(Thomas Clark – Glasgow)

***

gerroot
she sez
gannin on lyk a bairn
jus’ gerroot
ah cannae be deein wi’ yeh
whey ah just lookt reet atter
anna sez
aye, ah knaa how ye feel pet
ahm gann’yem
t’me ma’s

(Christine Arnold – Newcastle)

***

Ge’r aht on it,
Ow sez,
Scraightin lark a childt,
Ah’v ed abairt enough on thi.
Soo ah lowks raet at er
An ah sez,
Ah know ‘sacly what th’art on abairt!
Nah ahm whommin it ter me mams!

(Ernest Holland – Nottinghamshire / Derbyshire)

***

Gerraat!
she ruwered
Jus gerraat, avaddit wi yorn naa!
beyfin, shi woh – proper beyfin
anyaar, asseztuwer
aye, anu-wot thaz onabaat cocka
anna legged it,
afuwer shi cud say owt.

(Sara Bell – West Yorkshire)

***

Gerr eawt
She sez
Goo’in on laahk a chaahlt
Jus gerr eawt
Ah cawn’t bi doo’in wi thi
Well, Ah just looked reight at her
Un a sez
Aye, ah know eaw tha feels luv
Aahm goo’in to mi mam’s

(Jeff Unsworth – Lancashire)

***
….an she goes geraaawt

y’wa? a sed

Geraaaaaaaaawt!

‘M’sik’t deth’a’ye!

Ooorite! a sed

M’goin anyway

Then she giv’ me the eye,

‘n a jus knew

Berra ger arra’veer

Sow’a legged’i’

(SamStorm – Liverpool)

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Translation Challenge 2 – “The Hardest Word”

oh yer sorry ur ye
well thahts awfy biggiyeh
ah mean
its no as if ahv telt ye a hunner times
its no like yiv done it afore

saw very well sain yer sorry noo
inav jisty kidon thirrits aw awrite
birritizny sun
its no awrite
in sain sorry dizny fixit

ah dont wahnty hear whit yiv goat tae say
its too late fur aw thaht
ahm no intrestit
jist oanyego upstayrs
goan
gihtootyma site

(Thomas Clark – Glasgow)

***

ah reet – yeh sorry an that oyer?
whey welldun kidda
its aal areet then

mind yev dun awel this tyme and tyme agen
an yeralwez gannin on aboot sorry
and ahm alwez geyin yer
the benefit o’ th’ doot

y’knaa what?
tuff
divvent gan on -
yer deein me heed in

aye- had yer gob
ah cannit be deein wi’yeh
haddaway up te bed son
gan boil yer heed

(Christine Arnold – Newcastle)

***

Oh ar, thart sorry are ter?
Woll good on yer!
Ah maen,
It isna lark tha hasna dun it befuwer!
Mor’n a nundred tahms!

S’ohraet tha seein as thart sorry nah,
Carryin on as it’s a’ ohraet.
Bu-r-it isna! It isna ohraet!
An’ seein sorry wilna mek no odds naether!

Ah dunna want tow aer oat tha’s ter see!
I’ss tow leet fer tha’ nair!
Ah canna be bothered!
Goo on! Ge-r-up them steers,
An airt o’ mah saht!

(Ernest Holland – Nottinghamshire / Derbyshire)

***

Yerwot? Amsorrimam?
Ah, well,
That’s reyt then innit
Naayerv seddit,
s’alreyt agen!

Cuwers. Avbineeyer afuwer anna?
Aye – thanuz worram onabaat.
Alneva duwit agen, isez.
Am reyt sorry nar, onist, isez.

Oocarez?
S’words innit
Dunt change euwt naa.

Aye! Y’cn shut it.
Am not boverd n’muwer.
Nar sling yer’ bleedin’ ook.
G’won, gerrupwiyyer!

(Sara Bell – West Yorkshire)

***

Oh, tha sorry ar’tuh
Well, that’s reight big er thi
Ah mee’un
It’s nor us if av towd thi a und’ert times
It’s not laahk tha’s done it afoor

It’s aw very weel, sey’in tha’t sorry, neaw
Un act’in us if it’s awreet
Burr it’s not
It’s nor awreet
Un sey’in sorry doesn’t fix it

Ah don’t want hear wot tha’s gett’n fot sey
It’s too late for aw that
Aahm nor intrestid
Just go on, gerr up stairs
Go on
Ger eawt mi seet

(Jeff Unsworth – Lancashire)

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Translation Challenge 1 – “Faux Pas”

aye well ah didnae no thaht didah
naebdy teltiz ennihin
jeez oh

somedy coodae saez sumhin
ahm no a mind reader ye know
ahm no sykik

ah mean whit ye spose taedae
gaun aboot oan egg-shells aw yer life
scairt tae crack a smile

nut
nae danjir
thahts no fur me

(Thomas Clark – Glasgow)

***

whey ah diddent knaa diddah?
Neeone sed nowt terrus

yeh cudda mentioned it man
ahm norra one o’ them sychics o’wharreva
ah mean haweh
eez a dick
burra wuddnt’ve said awl that if ahd known

altho
bad crack that like
tappylappyin aboot
so neeone gets radgie
birrovva clart on if yeh ask me

soddit

(Christine Arnold – Newcastle)

***

Woll ah didna knoe tha’ did ah?
Nob’dy tells us noet!
By gad sorree, sum’dy cud o’ sed summat!
Ah amna a mahn’ raeder tha knuws,
Ah amna phsycic!

Ah maen,
Wha’ are ter s’posed ter dow?
Goo abairt all tha lahf ovver egg-shells,
Frit ter death o-r-ever crackin’ a smile,

Nae mah duck,
Dunna fret thisen abairt it!
Ah s’ll non dow that!

(Ernest Holland – Nottinghamshire / Derbyshire)

***

Owwer aahterno?
Nobdi telleduzowt abaatit!

thacudder sedsummert.
Amnot mistic-meg, amma?
ameen – aduntlaakim,
burrawunter sedowt iffadnown.

Ameen, yeravter avvalaff,
sumwun, sumwiyyer’s allus
gunna tekerfense,

betteren bein’ oneonem
on’t news,
that ardly-eva sezowt cheerful.

Yerravinnalaff antya?

(Sara Bell – West Yorkshire)

***

Aah, well, Aah diddn’t know that, did ah
Nobdy tells me nowt
JesusSumdy could er sed summut
Aahm nor a mind reader, tha knows
Aahm norr a phsycic

Aah mean, worr ar yo supposed fot do
Goo’in abeawt on egg shells aw yo laahf
Scared dee’uth of crack’in a smaahl

Now
No danger
That’s not for me

(Jeff Unsworth, Lancashire)

***

Eye diddun know tha’, diddye?
Nobuddy toe-ld uss.

Yew coulduh said summin, like.
I’m norruh bloody SIGH-kick,
Um eye?

Eye mean, wharruh yew
Suppostuh doo?
You dough’n wannuh be
Warkin abough ron egg shells
Orl yuh life,
Nevvuh reevun crackin uh smile,
Like.

No way, brah!
No friggin way.
Thas no’ fuh me.

(Mab Jones, Cardiff)

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment